For Love of Emily Read online

  “Why would he? You know, you never really told me what happened that night?”

  “It’s so embarrassing. You know, you and David took me to that party, and then abandoned me. So I found a bench in a quiet corner and sat and watched what was going on. He came up to me and offered me a wine cooler, and we talked. He said it was a little much for him, too. After a while, he moved a little closer and before long, he kissed me.

  “That was fine, but then he wanted to find an even quieter place and wanted to… you know. Said he’d just got back from a deployment. I said no as politely as I could, but he got mad and called me a tease. Said I shouldn’t advertise what I wasn’t ready to deliver.”

  “Why is that your fault? You have nothing to apologize for. He was the one who crossed the line.”

  “Well, it’s the tease thing that bothers me. What if he should decide to be vindictive and report me to the school board? We do have a morals clause, you know.”

  Carole shook her head. “I don’t think they would invoke that unless you made a pass at a student. After all, you were dressed no wilder than I was.”

  “Yeah, but what looks good on you looks trampy on me. Your makeup and clothes just look flashy on my fair complexion. My blond hair may be natural, but under those circumstances I may have come across like a bleached blond floozy.”

  “If that were the case, I’d have been fired a long time ago. Don’t worry about it. It’ll pass. Now, tell me what you think about the man in general.”

  “I have to admit that I’m attracted, but you know I’ve always made it a policy to stay away from military men. After being an air force brat, I know more about the life than I want to.”

  “Has he asked you out?” Carole’s eyes widened with surprise.

  “No! As far as I can tell, this is completely one-sided. I don’t think he realized we’d met before. If you could call it that.” Silver capped her marking pen and sighed. “I don’t know whether to be relieved or disappointed.”

  “I suppose you can’t do anything. You said you’re bringing Emma, um, Emily out of her shell, so you need to think about her first.”

  Emily is the most important person in all this, Silver reminded herself. “I know. It just makes it hard for me to work with him face to face.”

  Silver knew that what was best for Emily would also have to be best for her, whether she liked the way it went with Emily’s father or not. “He’s always asking to meet with me, and I want to see him, but when I do, it’s hard to be around him without acting silly. I’m always blushing. I hate this stupid pale complexion!”

  “I doubt he noticed. Men can be so stupid, sometimes. They always think it’s all about them. He probably didn’t even look that hard at you at school or that night at the pool party.

  “After all, you looked very different from the prim and proper Silver that night.”

  “Well, that makes me feel better,” Silver responded dryly. “You really know how to hurt a girl. And never suggest I use your self-tanning lotion again, or try your makeup tips.”

  “No insult intended. I’m just trying to remind you that the kid is who’s important in this.”

  “I know that. That’s what I keep reminding myself. It’s hard, though. It’s going to be a long school year if I don’t get a handle on this,” Silver said. “I don’t want to have to tiptoe around him all year, holding my breath that he’ll remember and it will have repercussions.” She straightened the stack of journals.

  “You can do it. You’re smarter than I am. Pretty soon you’ll be complaining that you need to meet somebody.

  “Then I’ll just have to get my boyfriend to introduce you to one of his friends,” Carole said.

  “I guess it’s worth a try. Just as long as he isn’t in the army.” Silver sighed. She had to do something to keep from mooning over Major Thad Thibodeaux like one of her seventh graders. Some example she was.

  Chapter Two

  Silver’s days passed quickly after her meeting with Major Thibodeaux, but her nights were slow torture. Try as she might, she couldn’t force the image of Thad Thibodeaux from her brain. What she had once managed to forget had escaped from her subconscious mind and haunted her every unguarded moment.

  Her dreams were the worst — or the best. At first they had simply been replays of what had happened in the pool house that night, the time he’d made a pass that she had rebuffed rather awkwardly. Gradually they had developed a life of their own. A life she wished had been realized in the bright light of day.

  Silver alternately dreaded and longed for those dreams, never knowing whether she would conjure up visions of idyllic bliss of what might have happened if she hadn’t acted like a shocked virgin. She wasn’t that, though her experiences with her college boyfriend did not come close to the attraction she had to Major Thibodeaux. Other times she had nightmares about what could happen if Thad should discover her deception. What if he were to tell someone about the way she had behaved that night? He’d accused her of being a tease. She often woke drained from the strong emotions that she experienced in the dark of night.

  One morning after an exhausting night of dreams, Silver was surprised to be called out of class to report to the principal’s office. She looked at the office runner who had delivered the note. “Are you sure he said now?”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  Alarm bells sounded in the back of Silver’s mind. Leaving a class in progress was serious business. “Did he say what he wanted?”

  “No. But he has some army guy in the office with him.” The boy turned and headed off down the hall.

  Panicky thoughts flew through Silver’s head. Army guy? Thad? She tried to temper her panic with logic. There could be dozens of men in uniform wanting to speak to her about their children, she reminded herself as she hurriedly wrote a busy-work assignment on the board. Fayetteville was a military town, and at least a third of her students’ fathers wore uniforms to work. After getting the class started, Silver hurried to the office.

  Mr. Michaels greeted her pleasantly enough and directed her to take a seat next to the uniformed man. She didn’t have to see his face to know it was Thad Thibodeaux. He rose as Silver took her chair. She glanced at both Thad and Mr. Michaels and both showed no emotion. Her panic tempered.

  In spite of that first terrifying notion that Thad had remembered her and that sultry night in late July, Silver breathed easier. Thad looked just like any other concerned father who might come to see her about his child. Though the situation was probably not as desperate as she had first feared, she couldn’t override her uneasy feelings.

  Mr. Michaels spoke first as Silver settled into the chair that was uncomfortably close to Thad’s. “Major Thibodeaux has come to me with an unusual predicament.” The principal paused.

  The silence forced Silver’s unsettled mind back to work. She had almost convinced herself that the meeting was a routine progress report. She looked from her principal to the man beside her, clasping her hands tightly together while she waited for the inevitable.

  “I’ll let Major Thibodeaux explain what he needs,” Mr. Michaels continued after the unbearably long silence.

  Thad cleared his throat before he spoke. “I asked Mr. Michaels to be here so that you would be assured that my attentions are completely honorable.”

  Thad’s discomfort assured Silver. Something in the way that he said “honorable” reminded her of a bygone era in the old South and changed her panic to curiosity. She thought it strange that Thad was worried about what she’d think about him. But then, he obviously didn’t remember that night.

  She was relieved and hurt at the same time.

  “I am an officer in the U. S. Army. And I am sure you are aware that it is often necessary for men in my position to be away for extended periods of time. It was never a problem when Emily lived with her mother. But now that she’s with me, I need help with her when I’m away.” He swallowed hard.

  “I expected to have more time to make arrangemen
ts before I had to go to the field. But a trip to Fort Irwin, California, scheduled for next month, has been moved up to next week.” Thad paused and sucked in a deep breath.

  “What I’d like to know, Miss Burdette, is whether you would consider staying with Emily in my home during my absence.”

  Silver started to speak, but Major Thibodeaux motioned for her to be silent.

  “I know this is unusual and unexpected. But you’ve developed such rapport with my daughter that you’re the perfect choice. Of course, I’d pay for the inconvenience,” he added. Thibodeaux played with the beret in his lap, folding and unfolding it, while he waited for Silver’s answer.

  Silver suspected that the request had been very difficult for the man to make. She suspected that he wasn’t used to being turned down. She also understood Thad’s problem, but she didn’t know how to respond. She had hoped to extricate herself from a potentially difficult situation by avoiding contact with him; however, Thad had suddenly presented her with a situation that would bring them even closer together.

  She smiled inwardly then checked the smile before it had a chance to escape. She wanted so much to accept, hoping that her agreement to the proposition would lead, perhaps, to a second chance with him.

  You can’t do this, her rational-thinking mind told her. At the same time her heart begged for her to accept. But if she did, Thad might find her out. Maybe, it wouldn’t be all that bad.

  Or maybe it would be disastrous.

  Then she remembered Emily. Emily was the most important person to consider. She’d have to risk it.

  ****

  Thad watched the spectrum of emotions flash across the teacher’s face and offered an out. “You don’t have to a make a decision now, Miss Burdette. Take a day or so and let me know. You have my phone number.”

  He could see that his request had taken her by surprise, but he needed to know. Oddly, he had an irrational urge to run his fingers over her full, pink lower lip. He banished the errant thought and looked at Sylvia Burdette expectantly. Thad could only hope that in a couple of days, she would accept his unusual proposition.

  “Thank you, Major. I will,” Miss Burdette replied primly. “You’ll have your answer within twenty-four hours.

  “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I must return to my class.” Without waiting to be dismissed, she turned and left.

  For the first time since Thad had thought of his daughter’s teacher as an acceptable temporary guardian, he realized the enormity of the favor he had asked. He knew very little about Miss Burdette except that Emily was crazy about her. Sylvia Burdette could have a boyfriend or a lover. Suddenly, it occurred to him that she might not agree to stay with his daughter at all.

  The idea that Miss Burdette would not help with Emily was daunting. But for some reason, the notion that someone might be waiting for her to come home every night was worse.

  Watching Miss Burdette hurry out of the office, he shook the errant thought from his head. He thanked Mr. Michaels and turned for the door.

  ****

  With the unusual request hanging in the air like the sword of Damocles over her head, Silver walked down the hall as quickly as she could. It took all the concentration she had to keep herself from running. Why did such an innocent request seem so dangerous?

  The brisk pace of the school day and the added hubbub of a fire drill managed to keep the major’s proposition neatly at the back of Silver’s mind. But as she drove home, she noticed several cars carrying uniformed men and remembered the difficult decision she had to make.

  As soon as the dilemma came out of hiding to confront her, Silver realized that the request, made by a man to his child’s teacher, though unusual, was not unreasonable. Who would be better to stay with a lonely child than the one other adult she knew well and trusted? But did Silver dare risk having Thad remember that wonderful, awful, embarrassing night in August by agreeing to help? As she drove, Silver felt the conflicting reasons warring with each other.

  Major Thibodeaux’s proposition, Silver thought. She had to stop thinking about him as the man at the party. As much as she was attracted to the man — the major — she could not let her feelings about him influence her. She knew this decision must be made on the basis of what was best for Emily. Silver’s feelings about Emily’s father had nothing to do with it.

  Yeah, yeah, a little voice from a different compartment of Silver’s mind replied. You can try to be as logical as you want. But sometimes you have to go with your heart.

  Someone behind her sounded his horn when the light changed. The strident sound cleared her mind, and as she continued to weave her way through heavy traffic toward home, she directed her mind back to the task at hand: getting home safely.

  Silver managed to negotiate the last few blocks to the apartment complex and parked her car. She trudged wearily up the stairs and struggled to open the door. Once inside, she dumped her books and papers on one end of the sofa, and followed them down to the soft cushions. She leaned her head against the back of the couch and closed her eyes.

  Several minutes later, Carole found her there, still flopped against the cushions, eyes closed, with her hand resting limply on her forehead.

  “That bad?” Carole asked as she deposited her gym bag on the floor by the door. “You look trampled.”

  “That good?” Silver replied without opening her eyes.

  “Yeah.” Carole went to the kitchen and returned carrying two ice-filled glasses and cans of diet soda. She handed one of each to Silver and flipped the top of her can. “What happened?”

  Silver focused her eyes, dragged her heavy head up, and concentrated on the glass and can. She popped the pull tab and poured some of the dark, foaming liquid over the ice. “I’ll tell you later. I promise. But right now I still have some sorting out to do.”

  No, you don’t, Silver’s mind told her. You’ve already decided.

  “Now you’ve got my curiosity going ninety miles an hour,” Carole commented and drained her soft drink down. She parked the empty glass on a magazine on the coffee table. “I’m going to take a dip in the pool while it’s still warm. It won’t be long before we’re back to wearing sweaters.”

  Silver groaned. “Don’t mention pools. I think I’ll take a shower… maybe it’ll help.”

  Though Silver stood in the shower for a long time, allowing the water to course over her tension-knotted muscles until it grew cold, it didn’t clear her head. Both her heart and her head told her to accept Thad’s proposition, but each for very different reasons. Her rational-thinking mind told her to do it for Emily. Her heart dared to hope that Thad would come to her as someone other than his child’s teacher. She had already decided to stay with Emily; her conflict lay in her reasons for doing it.

  Carole came in from the pool as Silver emerged from the bathroom.

  Silver looked at Carole’s dripping body and remarked, “I used up all the hot water, so you’ll have to wait.”

  “Who cares?” Carole shrugged and pulled the large beach towel she had draped over her shoulders more snugly about her. “Spill it,” she demanded and perched on a vinyl-covered dinette chair. “What’s the big mystery?”

  “No mystery, just a dilemma,” Silver replied slowly.

  “Will you stop dragging this out and get to the point?”

  “Don’t interrupt me until I’m finished. Just listen.” Silver cleared her throat.

  “I saw Thad Thibodeaux again today. He made an unusual proposition.”

  Carole raised an eyebrow, but said nothing.

  “He has to go on a military exercise in California, and he wants me to stay in his house with Emily.”

  “So. What’s the problem? It seems pretty simple to me.” Carole added, “Do it — you could use it as an opportunity to get closer to him.”

  “I’m not sure I want to get closer to him,” Silver lied. “Sometimes, he scares me. Besides, he won’t be there. Remember?”

  Carole adjusted the damp towel she had wrapped aroun
d her. “He may not be there, but by helping him out, he’ll owe you. And maybe, he’ll want to do something nice for you.”

  Of course, Carole was right. But one tiny fragment of doubt still nagged at her. “But what if he recognizes me?”

  “What if he does? From what you told me, he was the one who was wrong, not you. What do you have to be ashamed of?” Carole had a point.

  “Do you know how embarrassing that was, Carole?” And painful, Silver added silently.

  “Well, if anyone should be embarrassed, it should be him.”

  “What if he remembers and gets mad because I didn’t fess up and say anything about it?” Silver floundered, looking for reasons not help Thad out.

  “What if? And what if he falls madly in love with you and carries you off on a white charger,” was Carole’s optimistically romantic reply.

  “Okay. I give up. I’ll think about it tonight and give him my decision tomorrow.” Silver sighed. She wasn’t the least bit certain about this. However, because having another stranger enter Emily’s life now would likely throw all the progress that they’d made right out the window, Silver had no choice. She would tell him yes. She drew a deep breath and reached for the phone.

  ****

  Two days later, the first bell rang as Silver arrived at her classroom door, panting from a sprint in from the parking lot, and the extra time she had spent trying to camouflage the dark circles from her restless night. Trying to decide whether she’d made the right decision hadn’t helped tighten her schedule.

  A small congregation of children greeted Silver at the door, clamoring for her to unlock it and let them in. But there was one small face in the jostling crowd that shouldn’t have been there. Emily grinned broadly as Silver pushed through the group.

  “Miss Burdette, I have a note for you from my dad. I couldn’t wait for you to read it.” Emily flashed one of the gorgeous smiles that were becoming frequent as she became more comfortable in her new surroundings.