For Love of Emily Read online

  “I hardly think so,” Silver replied dully. “He as much as gave me my walking papers.”

  “Well, of course, he did. You didn’t expect to stay here indefinitely.” Carole jumped to her feet at the sound of crutches in the hall. “I’ll get your plans delivered first thing in the morning,” she said, changing the topic just as Thad thumped by the door.

  He paused and looked in. “I’ll be in the garage with the weights.”

  “Fine,” Silver answered as Thad continued on his way.

  “He didn’t seem mad at all. Silver, are you sure you’re not blowing this out of proportion?”

  Silver shrugged. “He puts on a good face in front of Emily. Maybe he’s doing it for you, too.”

  “I don’t know what to tell you, Sil. I guess you should just let him stew in his own juices for a while until he gets over it. Hurry and get your plan book. I’ve got a hot date,” Carole added after consulting her watch.

  “You sure you don’t mind dropping my plans off?”

  “Really, Silver. Your school is close. It’s not like it’s across town. I’ll do it. Don’t worry.”

  “Okay. I’ll get them.” Silver left the room feeling not one bit better than she had when Carole arrived.

  A loud crash in the garage startled Silver as she walked back into the house after accompanying Carole to her car. Entertaining visions of disaster, Silver ran.

  “What happened? Are you all right?” Silver called, breathless from running, as she threw open the door.

  Thad sat on the red vinyl weight bench. He seemed to be fine, though a large weight lay on the cement floor, cracked and showing its plaster filling through the plastic covering.

  “I just dropped this twenty-pound weight,” Thad answered tersely.

  He looked fine. More than fine! It was obvious that he’d just started a strenuous upper body workout. Thad had removed his top and was using it to swab at his tanned skin glistening from the exertion. His dark hair clung damply to his forehead.

  Remembering the first time she had seen him damp from exercise, Silver’s heart thudded loudly against the wall of her chest. Her breath came in short gasps. She wasn’t certain whether her palpitations were due to her scare, her exertions in getting into the garage so quickly, or her feelings at seeing Thad’s all-too male form again.

  “I thought you might have fallen,” Silver said lamely.

  “As you can see I didn’t. I just ruined a good twenty pounder, that’s all.”

  “I never realized that a weight would break like this,” she commented idly.

  Thad picked up his damp tee shirt and mopped the beaded moisture away from his face. He used the shirt as a towel and dried the effects of his workout from his body as he silently regarded her.

  She turned to leave. “If you don’t need me anymore, I’ll go back into the house.”

  “Wait.”

  Hand on the door handle, Silver paused. When the silence had gone too long, she turned back to see what Thad was doing.

  Thad used his good leg to pull the discarded crutches to him and reached down to pick them up.

  “I’ll get them for you.” Silver darted to Thad’s side and handed them to him.

  “Thank you,” he said stiffly, as he positioned the aluminum supports in front of himself and hauled himself to his feet.

  “Is that all you wanted?” Silver asked and turned again.

  “Why didn’t you tell me that you were the girl from the party?” Thad demanded urgently.

  Silver wrung her hands. “I don’t know.” She shrugged. “I guess I was embarrassed. I don’t usually fall into strangers’ arms like that.” Silver willed herself to look at him. And you apparently didn’t think the incident important enough to remember until just now, she wanted to shout at him.

  He made no response, and Silver looked away. After another long silence, she looked back up at him.

  Thad sagged between his supporting crutches. “Why did you kiss me like that?”

  Which time? “As I recall, you kissed me first. Remember?” He had taken the initiative every time, Silver remembered clearly. She straightened up to her full height and stared into Thad’s vivid blue eyes.

  “I don’t recall you fighting me off,” he fired back.

  “I didn’t notice you pushing me away, either,” Silver snapped.

  “No, I didn’t,” Thad replied huskily.

  “Then what’s the problem?” she challenged.

  “The woman I met at the party that night is not the kind of woman I would have chosen to have around my daughter!” Thad fired back.

  Silver recoiled as if she had been shot. “Yes, you’ve already said that. That wasn’t the real me, and you know it. But, apparently, she’s your type. Which says a lot about your taste in women,” she couldn’t resist throwing back at him. She floundered looking for a suitable finish for her argument. “What did you want from her, a quick roll in the hay? Did you just need me to relieve your sexual urges?”

  “At the time, yes.” At least, he was honest.

  “Thank you so much for sharing that with me,” Silver replied sarcastically. She turned and pulled the door open.

  Thad moved more quickly than Silver expected a man on crutches could. He caught her before she could escape.

  The magnetic field between them set the electric current flowing again, and the shock made Silver shrink from him. Thad grabbed her arm roughly and forced her into his arms. Silver was too startled to resist.

  As Thad’s glowering face came toward her, Silver had no idea what to expect, yet she wasn’t afraid. As his mouth captured hers, she stood quietly and let him plunder. But as he continued, Silver found herself responding.

  Couldn’t she, just once, not react to him?

  The intensity of her own responses angered Silver more than Thad’s actions. She knew that if he continued, she wouldn’t be able to stop him. If he kept this up, she would certainly be the kind of woman he’d accused her of being by the time they were finished. In another moment, she was certain that she wanted him to keep pushing, no matter what.

  Almost as soon as Silver began to respond to Thad’s demanding lips, his kisses gentled, overwhelming Silver with his tenderness. With each feather-soft caress her body ached more and more to join with his.

  Then he abruptly broke the kiss. This time it was Thad who pulled away, leaving Silver drained and confused. “Why did you stop?”

  Thad seemed almost as shaken as she. “Please leave me,” he demanded wearily.

  “But. I thought… Why?” Silver rambled, desperately hoping he’d change his mind.

  “Go! Before I do something I shouldn’t.”

  What did he mean by that? Silver slowly turned the door handle.

  “Pack your things. I think Emily and I will be able to survive on our own.”

  “I-All right,” Silver replied weakly. Those harsh words cut like a knife. Silver stumbled toward the door, blinded by frustrated tears she couldn’t hold back.

  She knew she had done nothing wrong. Thad had been the one who had jumped to the wrong conclusions. But if she was right and he was wrong, why did she feel so guilty?

  Thad regretted his harsh words almost instantly, but he was a proud man. He couldn’t take his words back, and he didn’t know how to undo them. He didn’t want Silver to go, but it scared him spitless to have her stay. He didn’t know how he could continue to keep her at arm’s length. Not when all he wanted to do was kiss her senseless.

  Thad drew in a long, deep breath. He wasn’t used to making apologies, and he didn’t think flowers would work this time.

  Slowly, he hoisted himself up the two steps that led into the kitchen. He went into the den and lowered himself into a chair. Emily looked up from her television program and smiled. He tried to smile back, but knew he’d only managed a grimace.

  If he was right, why did it feel so wrong?

  Chapter Eleven

  Somehow, Silver managed to navigate the dark streets home.
Since Carole had mentioned that she had a date, she expected to have the apartment to herself, but as she turned into the parking lot, she was dismayed to see the lights on in the front window. Even if Carole was a flighty person, she was thrifty where her money was concerned. If the lights were on, it could mean only one thing; Carole was at home. Silver resolutely yanked her bags from the trunk and trudged upstairs to the second-floor apartment.

  As she blindly inserted the key into the lock, Silver heard a man’s voice call out to Carole. She should have looked to see if David’s car with in the lot, but it was too late for that now. Or to turn back.

  Besides, she had nowhere else to go.

  Silver pushed on the door and went on in. Trying to make light of a difficult situation, she dropped her suitcases, raised her hands above her head in mock surrender and spoke out. “Don’t shoot! It’s only me.” Then she picked up her overnight bag, left the others by the door, and headed quickly for her personal sanctuary. Feigning cheer she did not feel, her parting words were, “Don’t mind me. I’ll be in my room.”

  If Silver had harbored any expectation of being left alone to wallow in her misery, they were shattered when Carole knocked gently at the door. “Silver, are you all right?”

  Of course, I’m not all right, she wanted to say, but she didn’t. “I’m fine. Go back to David,” Silver called through the door.

  “David’s gone. I sent him home.” Carole knocked again. “Please let me in.”

  “It’s not locked,” Silver answered weakly.

  “Why is it so dark?” Carole asked as she flipped on the overhead light.

  Silver lay on the bed, facing the wall. She squeezed her eyes tightly shut in response to the sudden bright light and slowly rolled over, shading her eyes with her hand.

  Carole gasped. “What did he do to you?”

  Silver pushed herself up into a sitting position and took a deep, shuddering breath before she answered. “He threw me out,” she answered, trying not to let her voice wobble. Then, with a broken sob, she buried her head in her hands.

  An instant later, Carole was at Silver’s side and perched on the edge of the bed.

  “Oh, Carole,” Silver wailed, trying unsuccessfully to staunch the flow of tears. “He practically called me a slut and said I wasn’t the kind of person he wanted around his daughter.” A sudden thought struck her. “What if he tells Mr. Michaels?”

  “He won’t do that, honey,” Carole said. “Look, you were both upset, and he’s not himself right now, anyway. He’ll get over it.”

  “You didn’t hear the way he talked to me,” Silver sobbed. “He was so cold.”

  “It was only the anger talking. You know how men are. They are quick to react, but slow to think it through. He’ll be back with his hat in his hands soon.”

  “Do you think?” Silver asked hopefully.

  “Absolutely,” Carole said with finality. “You’ve had a rough day. Wash up and go to bed. You’ll feel better after a good night’s sleep.”

  “Okay,” Silver agreed and followed Carole docilely down the hall. She stumbled into the bathroom and splashed water on her face, but rejected the idea of taking a shower. She was just too weary to stand. When she was done, she crawled into bed without even removing her clothes.

  Silver lay there in her misery, beyond caring whether she was warm or cold; she only pulled the coverlet up over her from habit. With little hope for sleep, she curled into a fetal position and squeezed her eyes tightly shut.

  ****

  A good night’s sleep was the last thing that Silver had expected, but sleep she did. Enveloped in the familiarity of her own bed and the dark silence of her room, she slept the dreamless, healing sleep that only the exhausted can.

  She had forgotten to activate her alarm clock. So when morning arrived, streaming in through the slatted Venetian blinds, Silver was already too late to get to school on time. She sprang out of the bed and sprinted towards the bathroom. As she threw open the door, something fluttered against it, attracting her attention. Silver stopped and read a note that had been stuck with masking tape at eye level.

  It was from Carole. You need today to get yourself together, it said. Take time to indulge yourself. You already had a sub, and I’ll deliver the plans. There’s coffee in the kitchen.

  Just like Carole to think of coffee, Silver thought as she crumpled the note and deposited it in the bathroom can. Peering absently into the mirror, she was devastated by the face that peered back at her.

  “Yikes! It’s a good thing that I overslept. There’s no way I could go out in public looking like this,” she muttered and turned on the water. It was so annoying to be allergic to her own tears. Her face looked as though she’d been scalded.

  In spite of several minutes of splashing cold water on her face Silver didn’t feel better. Though the burning had left her eyes, her lids were heavy and swollen and a red road map marched across the whites of her eyes. She fumbled in the medicine cabinet until she found some eye drops and a tiny bottle of antihistamine. She applied several drops to each eye, blinking wildly to distribute the soothing liquid. Vision still blurry from the sleep and the drops, she groped her way out to the tiny kitchenette and poured herself a cup of coffee to wash down the pill and wake her up.

  Breakfast for Silver and Carole usually consisted of toast and instant, but this morning Carole had put out the Sunday best and brewed fresh coffee. On the counter was a box of fresh bakery doughnuts that were still warm and emitting their tantalizing aroma.

  “You’re a good friend, Carole,” Silver murmured as she selected a likely-looking pastry and parked it on the saucer next to her cup. Carefully balancing the cup and saucer in front of her, she padded slowly to the couch in the small living room. She looked around the apartment. Compared to Thad’s spacious home, the apartment seemed smaller now and definitely shabby. And it didn’t feel the same anymore.

  The morning news was on at this time of day, so Silver decided to watch. Maybe seeing others who had much worse problems would give her a little more objectivity. She picked up the television remote control and clicked it on.

  The economic forecast and the latest trends in fashion were not sufficient diversion. Tears began to well in her already-irritated eyes and Silver had to will herself not to cry. Not crying was easy; not thinking wasn’t. Try as she might, she couldn’t banish the bittersweet memory of what had happened just a few days before. Thad had said some cruel things to her, but his kisses had said something else.

  Then, just at the moment that Silver had begun to believe that there might be a happy ending, Thad had pushed her away. She was sure that something had been developing between them, especially during the two days before Thad had realized who she was. That Thad had rejected her was too much hurt to bear.

  Yet, Silver refused to cry. She remembered the words she’d told Carole the night of the party, before she met Thad. She had told her that all she wanted to do was be a good teacher; she wasn’t interested in finding a man. Perhaps it was time for her to heed her own words and to redirect her energies in that direction. With that aim in mind, Silver set about putting her life back in order.

  In her best Scarlett O’Hara fashion, Silver decided to wait until tomorrow to think about that goal. She would pamper and indulge herself so that the pain of the previous night would completely disappear. If it didn’t, she’d still look good for the first day of the rest of her life.

  ****

  By the time Carole got home that night around five o’clock, Silver had managed to repair the ravages of her despair, though the injury to her heart would take much longer to heal. As much as she tried to tell herself that it was foolish to mourn something that had never been, she couldn’t help wondering about what could have been.

  An inviting aroma came from the oven, and Silver was putting the last few slices of cucumber into a salad when Carole waltzed in, bearing a bucket of take-out chicken. “I thought you’d be too out of it to cook,” she explained. �
�So I brought a love offering,” she declared as she deposited her red and white striped tub on the counter.

  “Sorry to disappoint you,” Silver replied, “but what you see is the new, improved me. No more wallowing. I’m just going to get on with my career. That love and romance stuff isn’t what it’s cracked up to be, so I’m just going to stick to teaching.” Her voice broke slightly near the end of her speech, but she was pleased to find that she hadn’t cried.

  Carole raised an eyebrow and shrugged. She plucked a piece of cucumber out of the salad and hoisted herself up to sit on the edge of the counter. “That smells good. What’s cooking?” she asked, as she chewed on her cucumber slice.

  “Tuna casserole.”

  “Yum. But what are we going to do with this chicken?”

  “Put it in the fridge. It’ll be good warmed up tomorrow.”

  “What are you going to do about Major Thibodeaux?”

  “Forget him,” Silver replied without batting an eyelash. “If you don’t mind, I consider that subject to be off limits.”

  Carole reached for another slice of cucumber. Brandishing it, she pointed out, “That’s going to be a little hard to do with you-know-who in your class every day.” She popped the slice into her mouth.

  “Stop eating the salad before it gets to the table,” Silver warned her friend testily. “Emily is a completely different person from her father. I can separate the two.”

  “Can you?”

  “Yes.” Silver began to lose patience. “Why don’t you stop giving me the third degree and set the table.” That was just the thing: she wasn’t sure she could separate the two.

  ****

  The next few days passed fairly smoothly. Silver quickly readjusted to her school routine, lamenting, as all teachers do, the time lost during her absence. With one week left before parent-teacher conferences, she had more than enough work to do to keep her mind occupied and off Major Thaddeus E. Thibodeaux.